Outsider Artist

I came across a new term today that I didn’t know existed. I ponder sometimes if I really am an artist. I have been called that because I like to make art of all kinds but never really thought of myself as an artist until I started showing people my work and they started calling me an artist.

What defines an artist anyways? I always figured that once I sold a piece of art THEN I could call myself an artist but I never really fit into any norms. Story of my life. I usually fall somewhere in between things which seems completely logical to me but to others it’s too weird or they don’t understand how a person can have more than one view of things. I don’t understand how anyone can only see things one way so I guess we are even.

I did try to sell some art at an open art fair some time back but no one bought anything. It’s pretty much the same these days but I don’t really mind to be honest. I like my work so I don’t really want to let them go unless the price is right because I can’t replicate my own work because I don’t actually ever know what I am going to do.

I suppose that’s why I can’t call myself a professional artist. I was reading on wiki that you get to call yourself a professional artist when you are consistent, your work has your own unique signature to it blah, blah, blah but I don’t know how I feel about that. I look at the world through eyes that are constantly changing. One day the world can look so beautiful and the next it looks like a dump and I hate it.

When I try to make art that is ‘pretty’, it almost ALWAYS has some dark sentiment to it and I don’t even know why that happens. It’s like my mind is hardwired for the dark side even when I see something beautiful… maybe I think dark things are beautiful? Who knows.

I think I want to try on that hat and when people ask me what I do for a living I will say, “I am an artist”. Not sure what to say when they ask me about my work because I really don’t like to talk about myself like that. I mean I don’t like trying to sell things which is why I suck selling my jewelry on Etsy. I mean, I do sell stuff and I love that people actually like my work enough to buy it but if someone where to ask me to say something about it I would be like, “I don’t know, I just think it’s cool”. Then I would shrug my shoulders, get a weird and uncomfortable look on my face and try to change the subject.

See, I KNOW I could do better if I could just get over that thing. I wouldn’t say that I am not confident because I am. I can walk right up to someone and tell them exactly what I think. I have no issues voicing my opinions. I don’t even have a hard time talking to good looking men or women. I only have a hard time talking about myself because I don’t know that there is much to tell. I need a tagline like “I drink and I know things.”

The Sun, Acrylic- Sandra Rinck

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