Who’s the Jerk, Drama Queen vs Anti-drama Mama

Things were off to a very good start, unfortunately there was some fallout within a community that I thought was really great, welcoming, sincere and good.  They made me feel welcomed and not out of place.

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I could write and reach a growing population of people with similar interest and all seemed well.  I even started advertising in that community and achieved great success but then a thing happened.

Drama.  Yes.  The joys of drama.  So I got a little close with a couple of the people who lead the group and joined them in creating the Global Environmental Warriors group where the goal was to make small positive changes in our lives to help improve the world’s circumstances.

I did basically everything for them because I believe in the mission.  I wrote 90% of everything for them because they basically did nothing but chat behind the scenes.  I built them a website and created their social media sites because we took a vote and they wanted it and I did it for them because I was the only one who knew how.  I invested my own time and money into helping them because I believe in the cause.

I made them an easy tutorial on how to use the functions and ran the place because they didn’t.  After about a month in, they basically stopped doing anything at all and made excuses for when they would start doing stuff again but five months later it never happened.

Instead, one of them basically hated everything about it.  That person was NOT an Environmental warrior nor did she even care.  Half the time she spent cutting down what the younger members were saying and even left a comment on one of the younger members post saying something to the effect of “I hate these kids and wish they would go away”.  Yeah.

It’s not to say she didn’t have a reason but to be real, she had that opinion of just about everyone.  As time pressed on, this attitude towards others was basically a shit show of negative energy that was getting to me.  Trying to keep it together for the other member, the founder of the group, I held my tongue and just said things like “I know what you mean” or “I understand that” and every once in a while you would actually come across a real tool and then I would agree that “yeah, that person is a bitch!”.  I mean, it really takes a lot for me to be like that but good gosh, it just never seemed to end.

Day in and day out it continued until I realized that these things were not just one time deals.  I mean, we all have opinions and say stupid shit all the time.  When I first joined them as a member of their leadership team in different aspects, they asked me about the leadership from another group.  I said that there was one person I didn’t particularly care for.  They wanted to know who but I declined to state.

Still, they made it seem like it would be okay if I did because they were in charge and wanted to know so I told them.  It was my one time that what I had to say wasn’t very nice but I gave specific reasons and then a few days later after looking at it all with fresh eyes decided that it wasn’t a big deal after all and retracted my sentiments.

But it didn’t stop there.  This person was part of what was called a “Growth Guides” team.  Her job was to be an ear for people who needed help or understanding.  You know, a support system.  I had used it which is how I really came to know her.  She did seem kind and caring and trustworthy until she started saying incredibly indecent things about some of the people whom she was volunteering for and the people who she spoke with in the Support Group.

She was dishing out all their drama and not only poking at them on a personal level in public vision but behind their backs saying telling everyone about how stupid they are and how mental they are, their tendencies and what happened to them.  She was one of those people who would say “I adore them butt…” I clearly knew she did not adore them because outwardly she would say nice things, like a mission to preserve her reputation, “I am the good one here” but from my POV, all I saw was a two faced person who got off on talking trash about people who actually needed real help.

This started getting to me.  Perhaps it was my fault for even keeping my mouth shut for so long and just riding it out hoping that it would eventually stop but it didn’t.  I can only take so much especially when growing my own community.

It was my fault for asking them to join me but I felt like maybe if I gave her a better space to be herself, then whatever had gotten into her would subside and a more positive vibe would ensue but instead, like in their group, she did nothing but talk shit, sit on the sidelines and complain about everything.  And the other one continued with excuses as too when he would actually do something to help support actual growth.

She invited the drama even though I specifically said what was not allowed.  I let that go too and had to be the “bad guy” and take it down.  A very personal post written by someone whom this woman also spoke terribly about but for some reason though it would be okay for her to make a public display of some very personal stuff.  My guess is that she allowed it when I wasn’t looking just so she could look like a friend to those in need by making a support comment to her in public eyes.

Then I brought another person on board to help manage and grow the community.  I felt like I made a good choice and I did all up until the other one did it again and blabbed about this person’s mental health and spoke it so foul that it left a bad taste in her mouth.  At least that was my presumption because she left right after that.

Of course being intuitive, I could see what was forming.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she was also talking badly about myself in other private messages because that is what she does.  If you even dare to call her out on something that is inappropriate she goes off and talks all sorts of shit.  She just doesn’t get it herself.  Something that she would constantly complain about, about other people.  How they can’t seem to figure out what they are doing is not okay.

She would drag out every situation no matter how small into a full blown soap opera.  She’d send me messages about how other people were bullying HER even though the person being spoken about, she specifically said in another message to me that she intentionally is mean to but then add “I love her but..” So I said, “you should probably stop doing that and then she will stop doing that”.  That didn’t sit well with her obviously because when you tell people things like it actually is, they ignore or get upset and cause even more drama in other places.

At any rate.  I got sick of it.  The constant negativity was really killing the good vibe I wanted and making me feel a bit sour.  I made a wrong choice and now I had to deal with the fall out because of it.

As much as I already knew how this was going to end, every moment of it stressed me out and continues to and this is why.

I filed a formal complaint with the group that she was a Growth Guide for and sent the screenshots of just a few remarks she had made where she even said things like “I know because he talked to me as a growth guide”.  All the mean things she had said about the people she is supposed to be helping etc.  I did it because at some point it had to end and tbh, I held on to knowing that about her for way too long and should have said something sooner but I didn’t because I wanted to have a friend and thought maybe it was staying between us.

Still, when I knew she was talking about me too in the same manner she speaks of others and that really is the moment I knew that it couldn’t let it continue.  Now, of course I knew that she would stop at nothing cover her own ass, make excuses and twist all the crap she does into some sort of “woe is me, I am the victim here” bullshit but I did it anyways.

Part of me is laughing because I am sure the information that I relayed to the community  leader was going to piss them off.  YES, I am that kind of asshole.  I did it specifically to make sure they wouldn’t look the other way on the matter because people were going to her with their private issues looking for positive support, not someone who was going to talk shit about them behind their backs and blab about their emotions to others who would inevitably think things about them unfairly… basically she was slandering them using the information she got in private.  I can only imagine how hurt these people would feel if I showed them exactly what she says about them.

Some of these people that she “adores but…” are trying to start their own business and invited her to join them.  Their business in in Tarot readings to which this person also said about them, “she sucks at reading tarot” and “I am a fraud, I don’t really know how to read Tarot”.  To their faces it’s “yes of course hun.  I have your back” sort of stuff but I knew what was really being said.

Now, I am sure she wouldn’t shut up about it and drove them nuts beyond their capacity to handle sooo much drama.  I think it probably went on for a few days until they finally kicked her out and in return I got a warning to the effect of “this is a warning not to cause drama in private messages”.

Now, yeah that pissed me off because I am not exactly sure HOW making a formal complaint about a drama queen makes me a drama queen but I suppose the Information was so juicy that it was seen that way OR they were livid with being brought into the fold of what she actually does and says.  In that respect, mission accomplished.

What really bothers me though isn’t that I got a warning, it’s that I know she’s is working tirelessly behind the scenes doing to me what she does to everyone else and pulling in people dumb enough to fall for her emotional baggage believing that I did her wrong.  And for sure, I get how it all looks but there is something just so unsettling about it.

People and loyalties.  She has her clique pose’.  It’s not like I didn’t know that they would follow her off a cliff because they are friends but it is just weird to know that on the surface they make themselves out to be these positive people but behind closed doors they are so foul it makes my stomach turn.

They somehow believe that they care and make people believe it too.  I fell for it but I am not one of those people who can just look the other way.  Worst of all, it’s knowing that they really believe that I am the one who made the drama that sucks.

Sure, if by reporting her was drama because they had to deal with it means I made drama, then yes I did.  Still I know better than to let it keep turning a blind eye.  It’s like seeing all the crap the president does and being his minion who looks the other way because they don’t want to deal with the drama of what will happen to them if they did the right thing.

They all have something invested OR there are things they don’t want out of the bag about their own behaviors.  I get it, really I do.  So now I ask you, Who’s the Jerk?

 

 

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