I listen to this local radio station some mornings and the host does a segment called “who’s the jerk”.
In it he gives two sides of the same story and asks, “who’s the jerk”. For the most part, both people involved are being jerks but what he is really getting at is who was the biggest jerk and was one jerk more justified than the other.
It’s a great segment because it’s funny to hear what people actually do and funnier when you know neither is exactly right but somehow you get it.
So for my “who’s the jerk” segment let me ask you who is the jerk.
The other day I get bombarded with PMs about a picture that makes someone feel uncomfortable. Okay just one PM about it but still. It’s not a controversial pic or anything, it’s actually this one right here.
Now I love this pic. It’s one of my favorite pictures that I have ever take. It makes me feel very happy and I love to use it whenever I can.
Yet this person said that the pic made her feel uncomfortable because she’s got a fear of insects and asked if I could change it.
As stupid and possibly immature as it was, I was actually irritated by the request because to me, the world seems too sensitive and it feels like I always have to change things to suit others.
A little backstory is that it’s used as a cover image in a forum that I host. That may or may not make a difference about the jerkiness but it seems relevant.
So on that morning I was just irritated to begin with. No one really goes to the forum to chat but when some decided to join in THAT is the request not to mention the person didn’t just contact me in private but sent someone else to ask me before I had even seen the request in the forum.
So my response was a little bitchy I admit but then proceeded to list three more different pictures: a snail, a bee and a dead toad then asked if any of those made her feel uncomfortable too.
It was quickly pointed out by an onlooker that what I did was mean and I was being a bully to which I responded that in fact, they are not all insect pics and how am I supposed to know which ones would be upsetting without asking.
But yes, it was mean of me because I did purposely pick out pics that could give the same effect even though they were not all insects. Language, mood all things considered it was obvious that I was begrudgingly opting to change it and stated that it in other words pissed me off that I should have to keep changing things to make others feel more comfortable when it’s impossible to please everyone and because I love that pic.
Now, the onlooker clearly thinks I am a mean spiteful bitch. The forum is dead and I get the feeling that there’s some talk behind my back. It’s not hard to figure out.
Then today after feeling like they were being shady over a picture, I changed it to a flower but I cannot help feeling like I wasn’t the one being the jerk or in other words that I am the one being bullied.
When I say bullied, what I mean is that the silence was retribution for me not wanting to change something that I like on my own group that I started but did so anyways in hopes of showing that once again, I bend over for others even when I don’t want to JUST to keep the peace while in other forums the sentiments are ghosting and bitterness knowing full well that I am likely to read what’s being said. All bullshit aside, I have been around the block enough times to know what people are doing.
So who is the jerk?
FYI, I feel too old for such games so I am never really sure if maybe I just can’t deal with petty childish things anymore or if I was just as bad for not just changing it as if it was even a big deal to begin with.
Still, at that moment it felt like a big deal because I was put on the spot and then made to feel like I was being overly mean when really I think I was being reasonable.