Bad Luck or Shit List? 

So it happens that my bank account was hacked (again) after so many years of taking the necessary precautions and guarding my accounts and constantly changing passcode etc. thrives still manage to steal. 

It’s not the first time and probably not the last. No matter what I do, it keeps happening. I already have shit credit because SOMEHOW I just have the most unfortunate luck when it comes to money. 

Was I cursed in a past life or something? lol 

I count my blessing anyways because in a lot of ways I am one of the luckiest people I have ever met but thrives, grrr…, they piss me off because it’s a never ending ordeal it seems. 

At least once a year it happens and it’s become almost routine to go through the motions of being first surprised that my money is gone, the anger for knowing I was robbed (again) and then the process of recouping the money by filing claims, waiting, changing cards, changing passwords, taking my computer in to make sure there isn’t any malware or other who k own what on my computer, closing out accounts that I think these crooks are getting info from etc, but yesterday was the first time a claim was denied. 

It was actually livid with the report that was sent back and the lack of actual investigating the bank did when a simple check on all the information THEY provided me would have showed them that the person who did this was NOT me. 

Perhaps it’s because the sum that was stolen is larger then any other time it’s happened and the bank doesn’t want to bear the responsibility for it.  Idk but it is frustrating. 

I seriously have the worst luck when it comes to money. I know people just assume I am doing something wrong but I swear there isn’t much else I can do other than never use a credit card but even then, they’ll still probably find a way. 

Did I piss someone off? Am I on a government shit list? No doubt I have a mouth willing to say what I think but come on, what I’m the world could my mouth possibly say to merit a lifelong vendetta? 

I am probably overreacting but it’s how it feels sometimes.  Like a curse, like my life has one way to go and no matter what I do to change the circumstances, the same things always happen. 

For instance, being alone.  When I was a kid, I was alone very often and used to pray all the time not to be left alone but unfortunately those prayers never got answered, not even to this day where I am happily married and have my children and I am pretty blessed to have what I do and grateful in so many way but it doesn’t get passed me how regardless, I am always still alone. 

My husband travels a lot so he is always gone and it’s just me.  Every relationship has met the same circumstances even when that’s not how they started out but life keeps settting me up to live out the same damn thing. 

You’d almost think the Universe is trying to tell me something or punishing me for something. 

I suppose however, that in return I am fortuneate in other ways that I don’t want to jinx. 

I am not a believer is deities or fate or destiny but sometimes I do wonder.  It’s eithe that or I keep doing something subconsciously that keeps me on the same road. 

Who knows these things. The most likely answer is not that the Universe or spirits or fate or destiny or whatever you want to call things, has anything to do with it but that people lack decency. Not all of course. Most people are still good otherwise we would never leave our home but we still have some trust in each other and we still want to see the best in things and that is a good thing. 

Still, for the ones that cause so much trouble in the world, I can’t help but wonder what is going on in their brains, their hearts, what circumstances does it take for others to disregard their fellow humans to get ahead and shift the sufferings to innocent people? 

Perhaps they were once innocent too and dealt their share of shit, I get it, but instead of doing their best to remain moral and truthful, ethical etc., they turn to the other side believing that their circumstances will improve except they don’t, not in the long run.  

They eventually get caught and they deal their fate, so to speak, but not without hurting others in the process because, like I said, people are mostly good and still seek out justice and doing the right thing. 

How does a person plead to others living impossible circumstances that doing the wrong thing is not the answer and meeting justice with injustice is not justice at all, it’s vengeance continues the cycle of malevolence. 

What a world, right?  Tragedy strikes everyone, misfortune, sadness, grief… you name it, there isn’t one person living who has not felt the pains of such things. 

Anyways. It’s one of those curiosities about life that no answer could actually satisfy. 

How many coincidences does it take for it not to be considered so? 

If every road you take leads you to the same place, is it fate/destiny? 

If you cannot control the circumstances of your life no matter how in control you think you are, does that mean free will is an illusion? 

Neither skepticism, religion, belief, or philosophy can adequately answer these questions because all of them allude to the same things: I don’t know or more questions than answers. The thought process is sometimes intriguing though. Not so much from a deistic perspective though.  Their answer is always the same one no matter how absurd. 

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