Peri menopause 

Last year my Gyno confirmed that I am transitioning into menopause. It was a little weird at first because I was only 38 at the time but she assured me that it actually happens more than the internet makes people believe and there is nothing wrong with me. 

When I went to get checked I was having irregular periods, hot flashes and dizziness that I was seeing my primary doctor about for over a year trying to figure out what was wrong with me. 

She chalked it up to extreme exercise and told me to drink more electrolytes because all my test came back normal, “optimal” actually except for my iron which has always been low and no matter what supplements, how much etc, it has always been the same. 

Anyways, they told me that there would be periods of time where they would become regular again, which it has been the last six months, it decides to be late. 

Also the last few months they’ve become very minimal which I actually liked because truth be told, I always felt better after my cycle completed and the bloating went away. 

Today I am three days late and I do not feel pregnant and I hope I am not because my husband and I decided not to have any more kids and he got a vasectomy; still everytime it is late it’s the first thing I think and then I get all sentimental about the idea of another baby and quickly follow that up with “oh yeah, but, and hell no” lol. 

My symptoms have actually decreased for a while too but they came back and it’s the hot flashes and dizziness that throw me off. 

The last couple days their presence has been more obvious and flow did not show up yet.  Every time I wonder if this is it, the last one, the end of my fertile years? 

Also, I might add, the prominence of grey hairs on my head have increased A LOT. I am not talking about the one or two that I started to notice years ago but patches of grey or patches that I can tell will be leaving very noticeable silver streaks. 

In some way I appreciate that I have even made it long enough to live this change, others times I feel a little sad knowing that I am at the halfway point in the regular life expectancy and how fast time seems to go. 

I know out perception is different the older we get and our lives become more busy and in that time I think we move so fast from one moment to the next that we forget to savor the “dog days” like we once used to. 

Back then, we didn’t have to retrain our Brian’s to live in the now because in your younger years, there is only the “now” that is important but age changes a person. 

“Now” becomes a blur between past and future moments like one long day that you forget to appreciate until the next pause in time compels you to slow down and acknowledge how much you’ve grown. 

Anyways, I sound sappy. Should have seen me before I figured out what was going on with me. It’s funny now but it wasn’t funny at the time.  Before then, yelling was something I rarely ever did let alone get so mad about anything at all that I could barely see straight but menopause is no joke. 

The wild hormone fluctuations really do create a bit of a beast. It’s too bad you can’t really explain the feeling to say, your husbands, so they’ll not get so upset with your sudden desire to rip off his head. Lol. 

Oh and the other thing that really sucks that is extremely hard to control… weight gain.  I gained five pounds since last year and it doesn’t matter how much I work out or watch what I eat, the weight will find it’s way. 

Lucky for me I have been in pretty good shape most of my life so my weight gain doesn’t “look” so bad and is slightly more manageable than someone who hasn’t.  

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