I Can Yell if I Want To

Sometimes I get to the point where I do yell at my kids because it beats spankings or whatever else and my kids like to push and push and push until I finally do yell and then my husband is right there to tell me I don’t need to yell when he basically does nothing at all when it comes to parenting. 

Nothing gets under my skin more than when he can act like he’s fucking perfect or to make me feel like a bitxh because I yelled. 

I have to ask my kids a million times to do something while they sit around ignoring me or giving me attitude when I ask them to do anything at all like, IDK go to bed. 

It’s 1:00 am, I thought my kid was in bed and that my husband put her to bed. I figured he understood when I asked him to turn off her movie but she came out to the living room at 1:00 am all worked up and wanting more games in the stupid iPad. 

And I just yelled “go to bed” before she could ask me for more games and then my husband decides to open his stupid mouth and say “you don’t have to yell at her” as ifhe couldn’t  hold off for a moment but just had to say that in front of her so that she would start crying BECAUSE I already know how it goes. 

I am with the girl nearly 24/7 and any opportunity she gets to feel sorry for herself or harness sympathy she will take it and just like clockwork she turned on the waterworks…”I just wanted to give you a hug.” Except I know it was bullshit and he would know that if he was around more or stopped spoiling them because when he’s not home, it’s always me who gets to undo or deal with what he lets them get away with.  It’s cliche “why do you always make me out to be the bad guy?”

When he’s home, he changes the rules and it fucking irritates me to no end. 

And you should see him when he gets pissed off and he’ll get pissed off for way less. He will spank and I fucking hate that. He can’t be with the kids for more than a few hours before they get on his nerves and he yells but for some reason he feel justified and then blames me! Wtf? 

I can go for days with patience of an angel but when I get tired of saying the same thing over and over and having the same battles over and over again,  YES I do yell and it’s better than the alternatives. 

My baby girl, since the day she was born has been a screamer, tantrum throwing, strong willed child who has challenged everything. I mean everything. 

For parents who have children like that, they know how frustrating and exhausting it becomes and how hard it is to stay sane when it is ongoing. 

And really, if he had said it after when we were alone I would have agreed that I shouldn’t have yelled but the way he says things sometimes… it’s like his shit doesn’t stink. At least that is what he seems to think but point out the same flaws in him and he takes it to another level like another baby I have to sit and fume silently telling myself that he just doesn’t get it and it’s true, he just doesn’t get it. 

Anyways. I vented, I am done and I feel better know. 

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